


guard your eggshell heart

by AlexSeanchai (EllieMurasaki)



Series: chart the valley of your dreams [3]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: (netflix where is the rest of the season), Dubious Consent, F/M, Gabriel Agreste's A+ Parenting, Gray-Asexual Adrien Agreste, Queer Het, Unreliable Narrator, Vlog Epistolary, assume spoilers through s02 Captain Hardrock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-05
Updated: 2018-08-09
Packaged: 2019-06-22 10:59:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15580485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EllieMurasaki/pseuds/AlexSeanchai
Summary: LADYBLOG VIEWERS, DON'T WATCH THIS VIDEO (Received 12 March), posted byladyblogThe following video was anonymously submitted to the Ladyblog with specific instructions. I am publicly posting it in compliance with those instructions, instead of sending it directly to the police, because—unlike Adrien Agreste—my sisters do not have bodyguards.Unless you are Hawkmoth, Gabriel Agreste, Ladybug, Chat Noir, or a member of the police force, please do not watch this video. Do me that favor, my Bugs. Do my family that favor. But most importantly, do my friend Adrien that favor. Please respect his privacy in this difficult time....you're going to watch it anyway, aren't you. Fine. Don't say I didn't warn you. And you all owe Adrien personal apologies, every last one of you. Replies to this video may be submitted to the Ladyblog through the usual channels.Content warnings: physical violence, implied threats of sexual violence.(Maman? Papa? I won't be home until Adrien is. I'll check in every day, but for Etta's and Ella's sake, don't look for me. I love you all—Alya)





	1. the fox of flowers hides her eyes

**Author's Note:**

> Beta thanks: sonicenvy, the_rck, ArisTGD, Lina L, and others to be named in epilogue

**12 March**

[The face of a masked woman wearing black and orange fills the screen.]

"Hell _ooooo_ Ladyblog! Welcome to the _ace_ new quiz show _Miraculous Showdown_! I'm your host, Volpe Rossa. Let's give a warm Parisian welcome to our first contestant: the one, the only, _Hawkmoth_!

"Unfortunately, he couldn't make it to the studio in person. But he's going to play by video submission!

"Ready, Hawkmoth? Here's your first question: It's one in the morning. Do you know where your son is?"

[Cut to: a furious Adrien Agreste, left eye freshly blackened; he is tied to a chair and gagged. A small masked woman wearing all black is holding a knife to his throat with one hand, caressing his thigh with the other.]

"Here's the deal, Hawkmoth. You give us your Miraculous, and we'll give you back your son. Refuse, and you'll never see him again. Stall for time, and we make him bleed.

"The Ladyblogger has _graciously_ agreed to be our go-between in this matter." [Photos of Etta and Ella Césaire.] "She knows all the rules.

"Don't take too long, now. You have ten days. The prize clock's ticking!"

* * *

_Video Received 12 March from Lt. Simone Lamar, posted by ladyblog_

"Mlle. Volpe Rossa, and mademoiselle in black. My name is Simone Lamar. I'm here to help both of you as well as M. Adrien Agreste. The email in which Mlle. Césaire receives this video also contains an invitation to a video chat so that you and I can discuss how to get you what you want while ensuring Adrien's safety.

"Mlle. Alya Césaire, please come to the nearest police station. We can help you."

* * *

**13 March**

_Video Received 13 March from Volpe Rossa, posted by ladyblog_

[Volpe Rossa's face fills the screen.]

Volpe: "Hell _ooooo_ Ladyblog! _Miraculous Showdown_ returns from commercial break to a few words from our prize!"

[Volpe moves, revealing Adrien is bound to the chair in the same position, black eye a day older. The woman in black removes the gag.]

Adrien, rapid-fire: "Flat's completely empty. Above street level. Red brick building across—"

[The woman in black whips the knife tip across Adrien's cheek, drawing blood. She speaks in singsong.]

"Now now, hot stuff, you know the de-al..."

[Adrien swallows visibly.]

Adrien: "Hi, Father. 13 March. I'm alive. Today's _Les Échos_ headline is the business community rallying behind fashion magnate Gabriel Agreste, unjustly and without factual basis accused of being domestic terrorist Hawkmoth. Gabriel stock is holding steady at €309.58."

[He pauses. Expression suddenly desperate.]

Adrien: "Father—they're lying, right? What happens to me if they're—"

[The woman in black muffles him with one hand. Adrien bites her. She slaps him.]

Volpe: "Capricorne!"

[Capricorne gags Adrien again, grumbling.]

Capricorne: " _Yes_ , Volpe."

Volpe: "Lt. Lamar? We already told you what we want. Give us Hawkmoth's Miraculous, and his son goes free.

"And now, a few words from our sponsors."

* * *

_Video Received 13 March from Gabriel Agreste, posted by ladyblog_

"I remember the akuma calling itself Volpina. I remember its powers of illusion. I want proof that these—Volpe Rossa and Capricorne—have my son."

* * *

_Video Received 13 March from Lt. Simone Lamar, posted by ladyblog_

"Mlle. Rossa, Mlle. Capricorne.

"First: Is there anything I can do to prove to your satisfaction that we are acting in your best interests? 

"Next: Adrien's family and friends are concerned for his well-being. To show that you are both acting in good faith, I would like you to give Adrien the opportunity to speak to me. Again, an invitation to video chat—or to voice chat or text chat, if you prefer—is in this email to Mlle. Césaire.

"Finally: Would you please tell me why you believe Adrien is Hawkmoth's son?

"Mlle. Césaire, please come to the nearest police station. We can help you."

* * *

**14 March**

_Video Received 14 March from Volpe Rossa, posted by ladyblog_

[Volpe smiles.]

Volpe: "Hell _ooooo_ Ladyblog! We're back with a new episode of _Miraculous Showdown_! Today's new contestant is Police Lieutenant Simone Lamar! Don't worry, Hawkmoth, you're not out of the running yet!

"Lt. Lamar, we courteously decline your invitation to any conversation that isn't mediated by the Ladyblogger on a time delay. Do feel free to continue sending her anything you want us to hear, though!

"As a show of good faith from _you_ , Lt. Lamar..." [Volpe makes a show of pondering.] "How about this. Adrien's best friends are all from his troisième class. Adrien's _first_ friends, excepting of course Mlle. Chloé Bourgeois, are all from his troisième class. Why don't you track down Adrien's troisième class and start asking how many of those lovely young people Hawkmoth has akumatized?

"I want to see video clips on the Ladyblog of three of Adrien's classmates telling the world about their own personal experiences of being akumatized.

"Hawkmoth, of course _you_ have only one way to show us you are acting in good faith here! Give us your Miraculous.

"As for proving to you, M. Agreste, that this is real, and proving to you, Lt. Lamar, that we have no ill intent...Capricorne and I agreed we're done gagging Adrien." [Volpe smirks.] "Well. For some values of 'gagging'."

[Adrien is repetitively tapping his ring against the chair leg his right hand is tied to. Capricorne is sitting on the floor on his left, her thumb tracing circles on the hand she's holding.]

Adrien: "Hi, Father. 14 March. Still alive. Looks like Gabriel stock's down a few points, finishing yesterday's trading at €304.32.

"Do you remember the first time I played a piano selection of my own choosing for you and Maman? Bach's 'Well-Tempered Clavier'. She said it was lovely. You said I was hitting wrong notes. She told you to hush because I was playing very well, and she told me it made her think of swimming in the ocean. Like mermaids.

"Someday I'd like to go swimming in the ocean, and remember her."

[He pauses for a long moment.]

"Lt. Lamar? I'm a little banged up, but honestly I think you can see all the injuries right now? Except maybe the bump on my head. They're feeding me okay, they're letting me up when I need to piss, they would happily let me shower except Capricorne insists on being in the room and—uh.

"I don't know what else to tell you, Lieutenant."

* * *

_Video Received 14 March from Lt. Simone Lamar, posted by ladyblog_

"Mlle. Rossa, Mlle. Capricorne. We will have those clips for you tomorrow. In the meantime, perhaps you could allow Adrien to shower independently? I'm certain he's uncomfortable. Do you need someone to bring you a first aid kit? That black eye must hurt, and we wouldn't want any of the cuts to get infected.

"Adrien. I am glad to hear that you are not badly hurt. Your friends are worried about your state of mind. I would like to know anything you can tell me about Mlle. Rossa and Mlle. Capricorne. Please keep me updated as best you can. We're cheering for you.

"Mlle. Césaire, please come to the nearest police station. We can help you."

* * *

_Video Received 14 March from Gabriel Agreste, posted by ladyblog_

"Adrien, your mother would be so disappointed in you. Cease this childish prank at once and come home."


	2. the calico cat in the three-point hat

**15 March**

_Masterpost of Videos Received 15 March from Nino Lahiffe, posted by ladyblog_

Ivan Bruel: Stoneheart  
Nino Lahiffe: Bubbler  
Alix Kubdel: Timebreaker  
Nathaniel Kurtzberg: Evillustrator  
Lê Chiến Kim: Dark Cupid  
Mylène Haprèle: Horrificator  
Rose Lavillant: Princess Fragrance  
Max Kanté: Gamer  
Juleka Couffaine: Reflekta  
Sabrina Raincomprix: Vanisher  
Chloé Bourgeois: Antibug

> Volpe Rossa, Capricorne:
> 
> Please cooperate with Lt. Lamar.
> 
> Adrien's our friend. Alya's our friend. We don't want to see them—or Alya's sisters, or anyone else—hurt.
> 
> By the way, Lt. Lamar? Excepting Adrien? It's _all of us_. Alya—isn't home—and Marinette isn't coming out of her pillow fort for love nor money (never mind lycée), or I would have filmed their stories too.
> 
> Hell, I'd add Ladybug's and Chat Noir's if they were hanging around long enough, since they both know Adrien too. But I bet they like sleeping and eating between akuma attacks.
> 
> So, Lt. Lamar? Please cooperate with Volpe Rossa and Capricorne.
> 
> —Nino Lahiffe, on behalf of Mme. Bustier's troisième homeroom at Collège Françoise Dupont, 20––

* * *

_Video Received 15 March from Volpe Rossa, posted by ladyblog_

[Volpe smirks.]

Volpe: "Hell _ooooo_ Ladyblog! _Miraculous Showdown_ returns!"

[Adrien, injuries bandaged and dressed in fresh clothes, is repetitively tapping his ring against the chair leg his right hand is tied to. Capricorne is standing behind him, arms draped over his shoulders.]

Adrien: "Hi, Father. 15 March. Still alive. Very angry. I _know_ how important the company reputation is to you, Father! I have not so much as asked the girl I like—"

[Here, Capricorne visibly stiffens. Adrien's speech does not pause.]

"—out to dinner because _I_ am the face of the Gabriel brand and _you_ told me that means no dating! And believe me, I am regretting that now! And _yet_ you think I'd mastermind something like _this_ just for a _joke_? Even if I didn't care about the company reputation at all, do you have _any_ idea how terrified my friends must be?"

[Capricorne slowly relaxes.]

Adrien: "But on to the important news: Gabriel stock finished trading at €297.86. Taking a bit of a hit there, aren't we?

"Lt. Lamar: All squeaky clean now, and you see Capricorne's got first aid handled."

[Capricorne laughs, low and sultry.]

Capricorne: "I'd like to handle a few other things, too."

[Adrien snorts. Volpe laughs.]

Volpe: "Get it, girl."

Adrien: "State of mind: trapped with a femme fatale and her encouragement. I know very well that there are at least five other terminale students at my lycée who think if they were sitting here they'd be in paradise, and everyone who thinks that is cordially invited to bite me."

[Capricorne lifts her head to glare at the camera.]

Capricorne: "Queue up behind me."

[She nibbles Adrien's ear. He flushes.]

* * *

_Interview with Ladybug and Chat Noir, 15 March, posted by ladyblog_

Alya: "Yo, Paris! It is I, Alya, coming to you live from the Louvre!"

[Cut screen: This version of the video has been edited for conciseness and accessibility. Check out this video for the akuma battle!]

Ladybug, offscreen: "Hey, Alya. We heard about your friend."

[Cut to: Ladybug and Chat Noir.]

Ladybug: "We're doing what we can to help him. It's not as much as we want—I mean, what are we supposed to do, look into every south-facing window in Paris that's facing a red brick building and above the ground floor? That doesn't narrow it down as much as it sounds like, and talk about invasion of privacy." *beep beep* "Oh crap. Sorry—bug out!"

Chat, watching Ladybug swing off: "One thing I like about my lady, she's got a strong sense of ethics." [He turns back to the camera.] "Me, not so much. Adrien, if you're watching this—once you're safe, we'll hold, you punch. Okay? But until then...hate to tell you, but Gabriel Agreste has been on our Hawkmoth suspects list for a couple of years. I'm not gonna say we trust Volpe Rossa, but if she's got good reason to believe Hawkmoth's your father—well, I want that Miraculous out of his hands as much as anyone else in Paris. Sorry, kid."

Alya, offscreen: "Let me state for the record, Chat Noir, that when you are done holding down Volpe Rossa and Capricorne for Adrien to punch them, _I_ will hold _you_ down so Adrien can punch _you_."

[Chat Noir shrugs.]

Chat: "That's fair. Also fair: making sure you can take a couple swings at them yourself. They threatened your sisters, right?"

Alya, offscreen, choked up: "Yeah."

Chat: "How are _you_ holding up?"

* * *

_Video Received 15 March from Lt. Simone Lamar, posted by ladyblog_

"Mlle. Rossa, Mlle. Capricorne. Paris police are working round the clock to identify Hawkmoth and obtain his Miraculous. I will keep you updated on our progress.

"Mlle. Nathalie Sancoeur has asked me to ask you about alternate means by which her employer, M. Gabriel Agreste, might ransom Adrien.

"Adrien, how are you doing? Is there anything more about your situation that you can tell me?

"Mlle. Césaire, please come to the nearest police station. We can help you."

* * *

**16 March**

_Video Received 16 March from Volpe Rossa, posted by ladyblog_

[Volpe Rossa and Capricorne sit side by side against Adrien's legs; Capricorne has her head in his lap and is smiling.]

Volpe: "Hell _ooooo_ Ladyblog! _Miraculous Showdown_ returns!

"Lt. Lamar, why are you bothering to work on _identifying_ Hawkmoth? We did the hard part.

"Hawkmoth, any time you want to win this game, you know what you have to do.

"Mlle. Sancoeur, no."

[Capricorne tilts her head back.]

Capricorne, dreamily: "I don't know, Volpe. I'd _love_ to travel to the Caribbean. Wouldn't that be so romantic? Sun, sand, and sea, just me and Adrien."

[Adrien squirms against both women and the ropes. Volpe laughs.]

Volpe: "I'd third-wheel that. _Aruba, Jamaica, ooh I wanna take ya—_ "

[Capricorne joins in, head moving to the beat.]

" _Bermuda, Bahama, come on pretty mama_  
_Key Largo, Montego, baby why don't we go?_ "

[Adrien squirms some more, red-faced.]

Adrien: "Don't I get a vote in this?"

Volpe and Capricorne, snapping in unison: "Nope!"

Capricorne: "Talk to your loved ones, handsome."

[Adrien sighs and visibly tries to get himself under control.]

Adrien: "Hi, Father. 16 March. Gabriel stock fell to €285.24.

"Chloé. I bet you're out there berating the mayor every hour on the hour for not finding me faster. Keep doing what you're doing, sister. Send me a video through the Ladyblog, please? I miss your face. 

"Nino. I bet you're keeping all our friends' spirits up. Maybe you even got people in all my classes to take notes so I can catch up when I get back. Good work, bro. Carry on. Send me a video, huh?

"Alya. This must suck so much. Hang in there, okay? I'll make it up to you. Somehow. I'm pretty sure your little sisters will forget all about it if we take them to Disney Paris, but _you_..." [Adrien shakes his head.] "I'm so sorry.

"Marinette. I don't even know what to say. I—oh holy crap this is going to sound so small when I just asked Alya to _Disney_ —ugh. Forget I said that, Mari, it's just money anyway. Money's only good for getting things to make friends happy. I...

"...come on, Agreste, it's now or never. Okay. Marinette, if I get out of here—when! _When_ I get out of here! I want to take you on a walk across the Pont Royal. Then the Musée d'Orsay. I bet you could design a whole runway show inspired by their Monet collection. And then I'm sure we can find a little café overlooking the river, with candlelight. How's that sound for a romantic first date? Would you like that?"

[Capricorne's expression has been growing angrier that whole paragraph.]

Volpe: "All right, lover boy, that's enough."

* * *

_Video Received 16 March from Lt. Simone Lamar, posted by ladyblog_

"Mlle. Rossa, Mlle. Capricorne. At this point I am sorry to say we have only your word that M. Gabriel Agreste is Hawkmoth. We will be able to make a great deal more progress if you are willing to share with us your evidence and reasoning.

"Adrien...are you all right? I will entirely understand if you are unwilling to say. You may be relieved to learn Mlle. Sancoeur is interviewing therapists who have expertise in—situations like yours.

"Mlle. Césaire, please come to the nearest police station. We can help you."

* * *

**17 March**

_Video Received 17 March from Nino Lahiffe, posted by ladyblog_

Nino: "Adrien! My dude! Since your old man isn't being very vocally supportive right now, I made a few calls, sent a few texts, you know, got in touch with a few people. And we have a few personal messages for you."

[Everyone specifically mentioned in this bit is showing off the item in question, except Kim.]

Kagami & M. D'Argencourt, in unison: "You have my sword."

Kim: "And my bow!" [He mimes shooting a bow at Mylène, who swoons into Ivan's arms, and then at Rose, who dips Juleka into a kiss.]

Chloé: "And my yo-yo!"

Sabrina: "My brooch!"

Mylène: "My pin!"

Ivan: "My lyrics!"

Alix, zooming through the frame: "My skates!"

Rose: "My perfume!"

Juleka: "My bracelet!"

Nathaniel: "My stylus!"

Max: "My glasses!"

[Marinette bursts into the classroom and, in slow motion, trips and spills purse. Round wrapped candies roll everywhere. Cut to:]

Marinette: "You have my Nonna's candies. And Mme. Chamack's mic. And Manon's magic wand. And Alya's phone." [She holds up a phone.]

Nino, offscreen: "Marinette, that's _your_ phone."

[Zoom out from Marinette, who is giving Nino the [visually bleeped by a ladybug emoji]: she's front and center of a LOT of people.]

Everyone: "AND MY AXE!"

Nino: "And you know you've got my bubble wand, dude. Fellowship of the Akumatized." [pause] "We're gonna film some individualized messages now."

[Fast-forward through over an hour of brief messages.]

Marinette: "Since you planned our first date, Adrien, I'm gonna plan our second. You, me, and _Ultimate Mecha Strike III_." [She waves the game box.] "But you _know_ how competitive I get. You're only going to win if I'm...distracted." [She slowly slides one sleeve and bra strap off her shoulder.] "You know you can't win this game with simple button mashing. You need _technique_."

[In this next clip, the camera angle is slightly different, to catch Marinette hyperventilating all over a sympathetic Rose and Juleka in the background of one side of the frame.]

Nino: "This one's to Ladybug and Chat Noir! My email is dj dot n dot lahiffe at gmail dot com. Email me and mention a couple details that only someone in this video would know, and we are at your service, my liege lady. Bring Adrien back safe."

* * *

_Video Received 17 March from Volpe Rossa, posted by ladyblog_

[Cut screen: FORBIDDEN TO UNDER 16S]

[Adrien is tied to the chair, all four limbs, though the bottom of the frame is just below his knees.]

[Capricorne swans in silently from one side of the frame, clearly sulking. Crosses the room; stops just before leaving the frame. Turns to Adrien; he's watching her.]

[Her posture shifts: tense, expectant. Expression considering. She runs a hand up from her thigh to her breast; his gaze follows.]

[She smirks. He flushes.]

[She crosses back, deliberately, swinging her hips. He visibly swallows, his hands clenching, pulling against the wrist knots.]

[She drops to her knees at his feet. Pushes his knees apart and leans forward. Undoes the button on his jeans with her right hand; slowly draws down the zipper. A ladybug-emoji visual bleep appears just before the color of his underwear would become visible. His lips part.]

[The camera tilts down to show more of Capricorne in frame; her left arm is hidden behind her body and much of her right hand's motion is obscured by the emoji. He is beginning to breathe faster, harder.]

[She runs her hand—flat as though just brushing with her fingertips—up a decimeter or so and down, up and down, up and down.]

Adrien: "Stop—"

Capricorne: "Make me."

[He tugs harder at the wrist knots, glowering. She tilts her head up, still smirking, eyeing his reactions as she moves her hand; a light glistening of sweat is appearing on his forehead, and the pupils of his eyes are wide. She meets his eyes. He snaps his gaze away, jaw clenched.]

[She lowers her body and leans in, her face partially disappearing behind the emoji. He sucks in a sharp breath. Hisses it out. Breathes deliberately slowly. His hips jerk up; he reddens; she laughs softly, running her hand along the inseam on his thigh.]

[Her head is bobbing; the emoji is intermittently eclipsing most of her head. Her hand keeps moving, her fingers first dipping under his waistband, then sliding up under his tee. She pinches his nipple; he makes a "Grk!" sound. Slams his knees inward, pressing against her shoulders. He's breathing raggedly.]

[Her head dips way down, and rises; dips, and rises. He presses his lips together, making reluctant little "mm, mm" noises. Her hand skims down his back; he tenses. Her hand moves as though pinching his butt cheek; he gasps.]

[Her head keeps dipping and rising, bobbing, dipping and rising, bobbing. He yanks his wrists against the knots, biting his lip. She caresses his arm, a visibly gentle touch; slowly he relaxes, his knees opening. His lips part; he starts making small "ah, ah" noises.]

[Through the sweat-damp tee, she pinches his other nipple, provoking a sharper "ah!"]

Adrien: "Cap—Capri—corne—"

[She pulls back to full view, licking her lips.]

Capricorne, husky: "Something for you?"

Adrien: " _Nnnn_."

[She drops down, her head dipping and rising, dipping and rising. His hips jerk up, again, again. She pauses, pulling back again. Looks up at him, her expression gentling into a true smile. He stares down at her, open-mouthed and panting.]

Adrien: "Please, _please_ —"

Capricorne: "Promise me something, beautiful."

Adrien: "Anything. _Anything_ —"

[She grabs the loose end of the knot on his left wrist. Yanks it; the knot falls apart. He grabs the back of her head and holds her down. A moment, two, three, of stillness, while the muscles of his thighs and arm and her back and neck flex.]

[He throws his head back. Relaxes all at once, his hand falling away from her.]

[She pulls back, slowly. Brings a finger to the corner of her mouth, swipes off a drop of white, licks it off her fingertip. She's smiling, satisfied. His rapid breathing begins to slow.]

[She rises; the camera frame rises with her; she crawls up into his lap. Kisses and nibbles from his collarbone up his neck. Kisses his lips, softly; again with more force, more tongue. He moves his free arm to hold her.]

[She pulls back, ever so slightly, to look into his eyes.]

Capricorne: "There, now, wasn't that more than you could _dream_ of? Don't worry, darling, there's more where that came from..."

Adrien, voice cracking: "Capricorne—"

Capricorne: "Remember, you promised me _anything_!" [She smirks.] "I wonder, just how many promises can I get from you?"

[His brow furrows; his eyes narrow.]

Capricorne: "Don't forget, your father's watching—"

[Adrien's head jerks up; he is apparently noticing the camera for the first time. He freezes, pale and staring.]


	3. the raven of keys in the dreaming trees

**18 March**

_Video Received 18 March from Lt. Simone Lamar, posted by ladyblog_

"Mlle. Rossa, Mlle. Capricorne. Hawkmoth continues to elude us. We need to know what you know. I have been instructed to advise you that the video you submitted to the Ladyblog yesterday can and will be used against you in a court of law. I am willing to speak in your defense, but you must show that you are acting in good faith: in particular, you must refrain from sexual behavior with Adrien while he is under your power.

"Adrien, Mlle. Sancoeur has asked me to tell you that she is continuing to search for trustworthy medical professionals to help you once you are safe.

"Mlle. Césaire, please come to the nearest police station. We can help you."

* * *

_Video Received 18 March from Volpe Rossa, posted by ladyblog_

[Alya Césaire is sitting on a park bench.]

"A message for anyone and everyone who has decided it is a good idea to send me suggestive videos in hopes that Adrien Agreste will see them: I have to screen every submission the Ladyblog gets—you know that, right? Especially this week—you know that, right? And I was told in no uncertain terms that there will be no more suggestive videos. Do everybody a favor and knock it off.

"A message for anyone and everyone who has decided it is a good idea to send me sexually explicit videos in hopes that Adrien Agreste will see them: I have to screen every submission the Ladyblog gets—you know that, right? Especially this week—you know that, right? And _I_ did not consent to this—you know that, _right_? And one of my best friends is currently locked up with a scary woman who has shown us she is not above slicing up his pretty face when she gets jealous— _you know that, right?_

"I am forwarding every one of those sexually explicit videos to the Paris police, with intent to identify the submitters _and press charges_. For your own protection, I advise the lot of you to _knock it off_."

[Alya stops. Takes two deep breaths, calming herself.]

"And a message for Lt. Lamar. I was also told to tell you that until and unless you provide excellent reason to believe you are here to help _Volpe Rossa and Capricorne_ , I am not allowed to post any more of your videos or to forward them to Volpe. I know your job right now is to help Adrien and—and—he's my friend but—"

[She starts crying.]

"I'm sorry, Lieutenant, but I got some more photos of my little sisters, and some photos of my boyfriend, and please, please, _please_ don't make anything worse. _Please_."

* * *

_Video Received 18 March from Volpe Rossa, posted by ladyblog_

[Volpe smiles.]

Volpe: "Hell _ooooo_ Ladyblog! _Miraculous Showdown_ returns!"

[Adrien is standing, pacing, no longer tied to the chair.]

Adrien: "Hi, Father. 18 March. Gabriel stock has continued to fall, reaching €262.43 by end of trading.

"This is the Last Will and Testament of Adrien Agreste, being of sound mind and blah blah blah, I do not know all of the legalities. I do not even know if this will be legally binding, but even if it is not, then at least I have on record what I want to have happen with my estate.

"To Marinette Dupain-Cheng: My rock climbing wall. The ring I'm wearing. One-sixth share of my life savings and one-sixth share of any future income to my estate. And all my stock in Gabriel Fashions—every. last. share.

"To Nino Lahiffe: My piano. My music collection. My foosball table. And one-sixth share of my life savings and one-sixth share of any future income to my estate. I am also designating you power of attorney, next of kin, executor of my estate, all that legal fun stuff—sorry, bro.

"To Alya Césaire: My desktop computer and all its peripherals. My phone. And one-sixth share of my life savings and one-sixth share of any future income to my estate. You can unlock both my phone and my computer with the date of duck season wait no Alya season, day and month, and the password for my password manager is my mother's middle name, scrambled like we talked about last year. Thank you for that lecture on digital security, by the way. I mean that sincerely this time.

"To a fund designated for the well-being of every person Hawkmoth has ever akumatized: The remainder of my life savings and the remainder of any future income to my estate. Call it the Ladybug Fund for Stray Kittens, I dare you.

"All of my personal possessions not previously bestowed are to be divided among the following people such that they come to a consensus that the division is as fair as possible: Chloé Bourgeois. Ivan Bruel. Alya Césaire. Juleka Couffaine. Marinette Dupain-Cheng. Mylène Haprèle. Max Kanté. Alix Kubdel. Nathaniel Kurtzberg. Nino Lahiffe. Rose Lavillant. Lê Chiến Kim. Sabrina Raincomprix. But give Chloé first dibs. Chloé, use this power wisely and kindly.

"Anything else that is mine to dispose of in this will goes to Marinette Dupain-Cheng.

"Please, don't take this as reason to be any more afraid than you already were. I am not being morbid, I promise. I just...I keep wondering how my father's going to fake a Miraculous convincingly enough to fool Miss Fox Miraculous over there. And if he can't do that—then I don't know how I survive this.

"I'm only eighteen, okay? I don't want to die. But—if I do—well, now everyone knows I want my friends taken care of."

[Capricorne moves into frame and runs a hand down Adrien's chest.]

Capricorne: "Gonna keep your promise, pretty boy?"

[Adrien catches her hand.]

Adrien: "Capricorne, look. Even if it's not legally binding, I just expressed my deathbed desire to transfer one-third of the voting ownership stock of a big-name Parisian fashion house to a designer who is, as far as my father is concerned, a teenage no-name. This is only marginally better than gift-wrapping the whole company for an actual competitor.

"Now, Marinette is an amazing designer, and in ten years she will own the Paris fashion scene. With the resources of an established fashion house to draw on, she can do it in five. That is the main reason I'm doing it this way.

"But if you can't trust that my mother raised me to be _honorable_ , at _least_ trust that I just proved _I am a little upset with my father right now!_ "

[He stops, breathing angrily.]

"I'm done. Turn that off so I can—"

* * *

**19 March**

_Video Received 19 March from Volpe Rossa, posted by ladyblog_

Volpe: "Hell _oooo_ Ladyblog! While this fine young gentleman slept, Capricorne and I did a little—well—it's not breaking and entering when one of the home's inhabitants invites you in the front door, now _is_ it? Sorry, M. Agreste, you should _not_ have let your son think you give less of a [bleep] about his well-being than do his _actual_ [bleep] _ing kidnappers_.

"Now, back to business, Hawkmoth. We found some interesting-looking documents in that safe behind your wife's portrait."

[Adrien is lying on the floor looking hungover.]

Adrien: "Hi, Father. 19 March. They're saying these documents prove you're Hawkmoth."

Volpe: "Expect some _intriguing_ submissions to the Ladyblog in the next few days!"

* * *

**20 March**

_Video Received 20 March from Annette Rose, posted by ladyblog_

"M. Agreste—that is, M. _Adrien_ Agreste—I don't know if you remember me? I'm Annette Rose, the accountant Hawkmoth akumatized last June. You stopped by my office the next day to make sure I was all right. I was and remain very touched.

"Yesterday I received several emails from your Gabriel Fashions account, which included hundreds of pages of financial documents. According to the accompanying summary sheet, these are the unofficial books for Gabriel Fashions for the past four years. We are working to verify the provenance and contents and to analyze the data, but...

"According, again, to the summary sheet, these documents contain certain—irregularities. For example, a ten-year certificate of deposit for five thousand euro set up in the name of Mlle. Manon Chamack, on the very day that Hawkmoth akumatized her. I could continue.

"M. Agreste—may I call you Adrien?—if we confirm the assertions in this summary sheet? It isn't looking good for your father."

* * *

_Video Received 20 March from Ania Bula, posted by ladyblog_

"M. Adrien Agreste, my name is Ania Bula. I am a lawyer with Michaud, Gagneux, & Associés; I am sure you know that Gabriel Fashions retains us for legal advice.

"You may not know that I was akumatized a year and a half ago. For that reason, I cannot represent you—or, should it become necessary and I hope that it will not, your estate—in any upcoming legal proceedings against, shall we say, the man alleged to be Hawkmoth. My personal emotional involvement means it would constitute a conflict of interest on my part.

"Similarly, no one in my firm may represent you or your estate against M. Gabriel Agreste, who is, of course, your legal next of kin.

"However, it would be my honor and privilege to recommend to you excellent lawyers who have no conflicts of interest in either area. You said that you wish M. Nino Lahiffe to act in your stead; I am already reaching out to him.

"And Mlle. Alya Césaire, in the matter of those who are sexually harassing you via Ladyblog video submission? I am happy to represent you, if you choose. As soon as it is safe for you to do so, please contact me."

* * *

_Video Received 20 March from Gabriel Agreste, posted by ladyblog_

"Adrien. I should—tell you something I...should have told you long ago.

"I am...gifted with empathy. Well. 'Gift' may be the wrong word. Hawkmoth must be similarly cursed. I cannot warn anyone before they are akumatized. But I know every time it happens. I _feel_ it. When, and where, and to a certain extent, who. Subsequent news reports invariably make it possible to more precisely identify _who_.

"So. Yes. I have been, one might say, misusing Gabriel Fashions funds. In order to help the people Hawkmoth hurts. As your mother would wish me to. Do you fault me for that, son? What else could I—"

[Gabriel freezes, as if struck.]

"Adrien—get angry. Get _furious_. As strong as you can. As _long_ as you can. I will find you."

* * *

_Video Received 20 March from Volpe Rossa, posted by ladyblog_

Adrien: "Hi, Father, 20 March, _are you_ [bleep] _ing trying to get me_ [bleep] _ing akumatized?_ FINE THEN. Remember my fourteenth birthday, Father? When Nino tried to talk you into letting me have a party. And you told him he's a bad influence and you banned him from the house, and about five minutes later Hawkmoth akumatized him?

" _You do not get to upset my friends._ Never. [bleep]ing. Again.

"And speaking of friends who got upset that week! The blue wool hand-knit scarf that was your present that year. Did you _know_ Nathalie took the gift tag off of the present Marinette brought me? Did you _approve_? She _signs her work_ , Father. I arrived at school the next day wearing that scarf, over the moon because you had finally given me a present that _meant_ something, not another boring pen like you gave me for birthdays eleven through thirteen. I was wearing a _Marinette original_ and I gave the credit to _you_. Father, it is [bleep]ing _miraculous_ that she has so much as exchanged polite hellos with me ever since!

"Am I _angry_ enough yet, Father? Is this _furious_ enough for you? Or should I go on?"

[Volpe taps her wrist as she might a watch.]

Volpe: "Adrien, Adrien, Adrien. Count the days that you have been enjoying our delectable company."

[Capricorne slides the tip of her knife along Adrien's cheek and neck, just barely drawing a line of blood. Adrien stands still and lets her.]

* * *

_Video Received 20 March from Gabriel Agreste, posted by ladyblog_

"Volpe Rossa. Capricorne. Well played. Tell me what I need to do to get my son back."


	4. the king lies bleeding on the floor, they say

**21 March**

_Video Received 21 March from Volpe Rossa, posted by ladyblog_

Volpe: "Five o'clock tonight. The Place des Vosges. Bring the Butterfly Miraculous. If you are _truly_ not Hawkmoth, then bring him as your plus one. Otherwise, come alone."

* * *

_Video Stream 21 March, posted by officialchatnoir_

[Volpe Rossa stands in the park beside Adrien, holding in one hand a flute and the end of the rope that binds Adrien's wrists, and toying with a knife with the other. Adrien is holding a phone, in landscape, as though recording.]

[The Agreste limo pulls up beside the Dupain-Cheng bakery. Gabriel Agreste, pale and trembling, exits the limo, which remains parked. He walks up to Volpe and Adrien, stopping some ten meters away at Volpe's warning gesture.]

Gabriel: "Adrien! You're—" [He composes himself.] "Volpe Rossa."

Volpe, smirking: "Sorry to pry you out of your nice safe home."

Gabriel: "Where is your compatriot?"

Volpe: "Capricorne is...a little busy. Entertaining our _new_ guest. Be a dear and inform M. Dupain and Mme. Cheng that we have custody of their darling daughter."

[Gabriel pulls out his phone. Volpe leaps over to him and confiscates it, and leaps back to her previous position, snatching up Adrien's leash. Adrien doesn't move.]

Gabriel: "Adrien! You could have run!"

Adrien: "Not while they have Marinette."

Gabriel: "I do not _care_. Nor should you. Our family comes first."

Adrien: "She's my friend! _Of course_ I should care! And Volpe won't be doing any more damage to _our family_. Will she, Father. The only thing I need to do to make sure Marinette's safe is record this exchange so Volpe can send it to the Ladyblog. The _only_ thing." [He visibly gulps.] "Father. I'm trusting you."

Gabriel: "You might try trusting that I have brought—"

Adrien: " _Shut up stop talking!_ What if it were _Maman_ , Father? What if it were Maman instead of Marinette, or instead of me? _What then?_ What would you do if someone had a knife to _Maman's_ neck?"

[Gabriel straightens.]

Gabriel: "You know the answer to that, my son."

Adrien: "Do I? Do I _really_?"

Gabriel: "When the Ladybug Miraculous and the Cat Miraculous are wielded by the same hand, they unlock a great power. Your Maman could come back to us."

Adrien: "I am not hearing this. I am not hearing this. Maman's _dead_."

Gabriel: "She does not have to be."

Adrien: "Are you _actually_ trying to tell me that you turned into a motherfucking _supervillain_ in order to steal two trinkets from people half your age in order to do the _actual fucking impossible_?"

[Gabriel is silent.]

Adrien: "Say it! SAY IT!"

[Gabriel is silent.]

Adrien: "Or don't! Tell me it's not true! _Prove to me it's not true!_ "

Gabriel, heavily: "I cannot."

[Adrien gawks.]

Adrien: "Do you remember the day my bodyguard was akumatized? Do you remember the bit where he threw me off a _skyscraper_? I knew Ladybug and Chat Noir would save me. I _knew_ they would. But it is a little difficult to _believe_ such things when ten stories up and falling at terminal velocity! I did some research later, Father. Just for kicks. Impact force of over a hundred kilonewtons _pulverizes_ the skeletal structure. The mortician would have had a horrible time making me look pretty for the open casket."

[Gabriel is silent.]

Adrien: "And now you are telling me _you did that_."

[Gabriel is silent.]

Adrien, hesitantly: "...is Maman really that important to you?"

Gabriel: "Of course."

Adrien: "More than me?"

Gabriel: "Never."

[Pause.]

Adrien: "...you could really..."

Gabriel: "Yes."

Adrien, beginning to cry: "I miss her so much."

Gabriel: "I know."

Adrien: "You say this is for her. Prove it. I want to see with my own eyes."

Gabriel: "I will do nothing while that phone camera is on."

[Adrien freezes.]

Adrien: "They'll kill Marinette. They said they'll kill her."

Gabriel: "Delete the recording and drop the phone."

Adrien: "What would Mari do. What would she want me to do."

Gabriel: "Delete the recording and drop the phone."

Adrien: "She'll die!"

Gabriel: "Delete the recording and drop the phone."

Adrien: "Mari—"

[Adrien squares his shoulders, expression firming. He thumbs the phone screen, drops the phone, and stomps on it.]

Gabriel: "I'm sorry, son. Nooroo, dark wings rise!"

[Adrien stares at the transformation. Volpe seems unmoved.]

Adrien: "Take it back! Take it back, renounce it, get rid of the Miraculous, I don't want to know this! Father—Father, _please_ —"

[Meanwhile, Hawkmoth summons a white butterfly. Turns it violet-black. It flies toward the camera.]

[Adrien yanks the rope out of Volpe's hand and runs toward the butterfly, swinging the rope so it hits the butterfly. The butterfly sinks into the rope.]

[A glowing purple butterfly outline appears on both Adrien's and Hawkmoth's faces. Hawkmoth's mouth is moving, but no words are audible.]

Adrien: "No, no. No, no, no."

[Three short airhorn blasts sound. Ivan, Kim, Gorilla, and several other people rush Hawkmoth. Ladybug swings in, dropping the airhorn. She wraps Adrien in her yo-yo cord and snags the knife from Volpe.]

Adrien: "No, no, no—"

Ladybug: "Adrien."

[He jerks his head up. Stares at her.]

Ladybug: "I'm right here. I've got you."

Adrien, voice cracking: "Ladybug—"

Ladybug: "It's okay. He won't use you against us."

Adrien: "Monkey's paw wish."

Ladybug: "I know."

Adrien: "No, no."

Ladybug: "Do you trust me?"

[Adrien visibly relaxes and closes his eyes.]

Ladybug: "Tell him yes."

Adrien: "Yes, Hawkmoth."

[Adrien is consumed by violet-black magic. When it settles, akumatized Adrien is glaring down at Ladybug: taller, with turquoise hair instead of golden, a violet business-cut suit instead of black tee and blue jeans. He's still confined by her yo-yo. She cuts the rope off his wrist. The butterfly flies out. She releases him, drops the knife, catches the butterfly with the yo-yo, purifies and releases it, and catches Adrien as the magic wears off and he falls forward.]

Adrien, mumbling: "Told you so."

Ladybug, laughing sadly: "Yeah."

[She holds something out to him; it glints silver in the light. Volpe raises her flute to her lips.]

[Six frames of static.]

[Chat Noir drops in next to Ladybug and Adrien. He summons Cataclysm. The people pinning Hawkmoth make a path for Chat.]

Chat: "Repeat after me. 'Nooroo, I renounce you.' And don't you fucking dare say 'temporarily'."

[Hawkmoth is silent.]

Chat, loudly: "Ladybug, Adrien should get to the hospital. Now."

Ladybug: "Catch you later!"

[She takes off with Adrien.]

Chat: "Do you really want that to be the last time you lay eyes on your son?"

[Hawkmoth drops his transformation.]

Gabriel: "Nooroo, I renounce you."

[Chat Noir leans over and snatches the brooch off Gabriel's collar.]

Chat: "Coming to you live from the Place des Vosges, this is _Miraculous Showdown_."

[He dispels Cataclysm by destroying the rope. Grabs the airhorn for one long blast.]

[Rose, Juleka, Mylène, and Chloé appear from various hiding places, wielding smartphones. Lt. Raincomprix and Lt. Lamar move in to arrest Gabriel.]

[Chat Noir intercepts Marinette as she runs up, scuffed up and bleeding a little from the neck.]

Chat: "Someone tell Marinette's parents to meet her at the hospital."

[He takes off with her.]

[Volpe has utterly disappeared. Alya moves into frame right in front of the camera, winks, and reaches to shut off the camera.]

> Check out other camera angles at the masterpost!

* * *

_Video Received 22 March from Élisabeth Barrette, posted by ladyblog_

[Hospital ER. Adrien and Marinette are outside the discharges door, their various minor injuries visibly cleaned and bandaged. Tom Dupain and Sabine Cheng grab them both in a hug.]

Tom: "Our home is yours, son."

[Sabine points directly to the camera.]

Adrien: "Yeah, right now I'm past caring."

[Sabine shows the camera her extended middle finger.]

[They turn to leave. Marinette bounces up onto Adrien's back, wrapping her legs around his waist. He staggers and turns his head, smiling.]

Adrien: "Hi."

Marinette: "Hi."

[She leans forward; they kiss.]


	5. epilogue: stories twine, meet and part and recombine

**22 March**

[Credits music: "[Kokomo](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GsFJhY4cDcE)" by the Beach Boys]

**STARRING**

_Adrien Agreste_  
as  
HIMSELF

_Gabriel Agreste_  
as  
HAWKMOTH  
_aka_  
HIMSELF

_Ladybug_  
as  
CAPRICORNE  
_aka_  
HERSELF

_Rena Rouge_  
as  
VOLPE ROSSA

_Chat Noir_  
as  
HIMSELF

_Alya Césaire_  
as  
HERSELF

_Marinette Dupain-Cheng_  
as  
HERSELF

ALSO FEATURING  
AS THEMSELVES

Sabine Cheng  
Thomas Dupain  
Simone Lamar  
Roger Raincomprix

Chloé Bourgeois  
Ivan Bruel  
Juleka Couffaine  
Mylène Haprèle  
Max Kanté  
Alix Kubdel  
Nathaniel Kurtzberg  
Nino Lahiffe  
Rose Lavillant  
Lê Chiến Kim  
Sabrina Raincomprix

WITH THANKS TO  
Élisabeth Barrette  
Ania Bula  
Annette Rose

DIRECTOR  
Chat Noir

SCREENPLAY  
Ladybug

PRODUCER  
Marinette Dupain-Cheng

EXECUTIVE PRODUCER  
Adrien Agreste

SPECIAL EFFECTS  
Rena Rouge

PHOTOGRAPHY  
Alya Césaire

EDITING  
Alya Césaire

DISTRIBUTION  
Alya Césaire, Ladyblog

🐞

WITH MANY APOLOGIES TO  
THE FAMILY CÉSAIRE  
ADRIEN'S TROISIÈME CLASS  
LT. SIMONE LAMAR AND THE PARIS POLICE  
AND THE CITY OF PARIS  
Marinette Dupain-Cheng  
Alya Césaire  
Adrien Agreste  
Rena Rouge  
Chat Noir  
Ladybug

RESPONSIBLE FOR EVERYTHING  
Gabriel Agreste _aka_ Hawkmoth

🐞

LADYBUG'S CELEBRITY OUT  
Adrien Agreste

ADRIEN'S CELEBRITY OUT  
Ladybug

CAN'T COMPLAIN  
Chat Noir

WASN'T PLANNING TO COMPLAIN  
Marinette Dupain-Cheng

RESPONSIBLE FOR SUPPLYING FROYO POPS  
Marinette Dupain-Cheng

RESPONSIBLE FOR STRATEGICALLY PLACING FROYO POP  
Ladybug

RESPONSIBLE FOR BLEEPING OUT FROYO POP  
Alya Césaire

RESPONSIBLE FOR RUINING HALF THE FROYO POP TAKES  
Chat Noir

RESPONSIBLE FOR RUINING HALF THE FROYO POP TAKES  
Rena Rouge

RESPONSIBLE FOR RUINING ZERO FROYO POP TAKES, THANK YOU  
Ladybug

RIDICULOUSLY PLEASED WITH FROYO POP EVEN THOUGH HE DIDN'T ACTUALLY GET ANY  
Adrien Agreste

SAVED ALL THE RAW FROYO POP FOOTAGE FOR EVIDENTIARY PURPOSES ONLY  
Alya Césaire

ABSOLUTELY DIDN'T SAVE ANY FROYO POP FOOTAGE WHATSOEVER  
Marinette Dupain-Cheng

INSULTED TO LEARN ANYONE FELT THE DESIRE TO SAVE FROYO POP FOOTAGE AT ALL  
Adrien Agreste

CLEARLY DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH FUN WITH FROYO POP FOOTAGE  
Chat Noir

REGRETS EVERYTHING  
Rena Rouge

POSSIBLY NOT TELLING THE TRUTH, THE WHOLE TRUTH, AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH HERE  
Marinette Dupain-Cheng  
Alya Césaire  
Adrien Agreste  
Rena Rouge  
Chat Noir  
Ladybug

HAS A BLOOPER REEL AND ISN'T AFRAID TO USE IT  
Alya Césaire

NOT COOL, DUDES, I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS  
Nino Lahiffe

INDIRECTLY RESPONSIBLE FOR THE ENTIRE DEFEAT OF HAWKMOTH, M. VIDEOGRAPHER, SO SHUT UP ALREADY  
Nino Lahiffe

🐞

WANTS TO HIDE FOR A WEEK FIRST, BUT WOULD REALLY LIKE DINNER AND THE MUSÉE D'ORSAY  
Marinette Dupain-Cheng

IS PERFECTLY HAPPY TO LOSE AT _ULTIMATE MECHA STRIKE III_ , ALL WEEK IF NECESSARY  
Adrien Agreste

🐞

IN LOVING MEMORY  
Émilie Agreste


End file.
